There is a striking resemblance between a two year old and a teenager. Just when you thought you had navigated and survived your two year old, your hit with a teenager! God really does have a sense of humor. I am pretty sure this is a test for those of us who failed the first go round. I have listed out the most common denominators between the two stages of adolescence
- They don't want to go to bed. Wrestling a two year old into bed can be an Olympic event. First there is the "no", then there are the tears and the fall apart on the floor, I don't want to go! Once you have them in said bed, there's the, "read me a story", "read me one more", followed by the "I need a drink", "don't close the door", "Leave the light on" routine. And then, your out. Just when you think you have finally pulled it off, they are UP! With teenagers its.... "It's getting late, you have school tomorrow, better get to bed." They start to move from the couch but only make it to the fridge. They stand there with the refrigerator door open just staring. (this is because like said two year old, they are not hungry but stalling) After an exasperated sign, they close the door. They meander to their room. Fifteen minutes later they are up. They are in the bathroom. Then they are standing at the fridge again with the door open. You say "goodnight", and they head to their room and close the door. You turn the lights off to go to bed yourself, when you hear their door and they announce, "I have some papers you need to sign for school".
- It's all about me. When our children are babies we take care of their needs immediately. As our child grows the shelf life of immediate attention nears it's expiration date. As you can imagine this is a great injustice to our budding two year old. I want, I need, and I can't wait. There is some kind of self preservation lens that our teenagers get, (i wish I knew who was handing these out so I could choke them) Everything that happens, happens directly to them. We can not possibly understand having never been teenagers ourselves.
- There are fits of anger and tears. A two year old is an emotional mess. A teenager is an emotional mess. There is no need to say more.
- You can't get them out of the tub or shower. Put a two year old in the tub and it's splash down USA. They could play in there for hours, even when the water gets cold. Teenagers you can't get out of the shower. The water runs so long all you can hear are dollar signs for your next water bill. You are pretty sure the hot water heater has run out of hot water, but the shower is still going so........
- Fighting for independence and saying no. Both a two year old and a teenager share this same trait....... They don't like the clothes you pick out for them and insist on wearing the outfit that THEY want. Usually it will be most expressed when you are going to some big event or social gathering. (secretly I think they do this on purpose to embarrass us, but I have no actual proof......yet) And oh how they love to say, "No." No to chores, to picking up their toys, to saying they are sorry for hitting, biting, scratching. Teenagers say no to cleaning their room, to curfew, and to pretty much anything you want them to do right now. And don't even get me started on the outfits they wear!
When our two year old grows up and becomes a teenager, we are back to picking our battles. We survived the "terrible" two's and it looks like that was just a warm up for the teenage years.