Most of us can remember "Mr Potato Head" from our childhood. It was great fun to take apart his pieces and rearrange them in funny ways. What parent did not become annoyed at our constant, "look at his silly face." "look how cool this is!" "Look at him now!" "Look at him now, and now and now.....
Sometimes as a grownup, I find myself wanting to believe that the relationships in my life are just like my "Mr Potato Head" of my childhood. I want to move things around a little bit, and omit a few things.
My children would look like this.... they would have many ears so they could hear my instruction. They would have many hands so they could do all their chores quickly and efficiently. But, I would remove their mouth so they couldn't talk back, no legs so they couldn't run away, and definitely no eyes so they couldn't see my bad examples.
We, (I) tend to want to do this in my relationships as well. I would place big ole ears on them so they were great at listening to my side of the story. I'd give them arms to comfort me and hold me. But I would not give them a nose so they couldn't stick it in my business. And forget the mouth so they couldn't tell me their feelings or opinions of me.
In doing this I was trying to make the relationships in my life more comfortable for me. I had expectations that I placed on those around me to make me feel good about myself and lets face it, make life easier. When our children see our bad examples and mistakes in life we feel shame. When our partner shares their feelings with us that we have hurt them, we feel ugly and cruel. If we could just "pop" their mouth off or remove their eyes, well, we could avoid a lot of pain.
But God did not create people, or relationships that way. They were never meant to be opaque, but transparent. They were meant to be an exchange of truth and vulnerability. It's not about getting our own needs met, as much as it is coming together in all our brokenness and vulnerability and loving each other through it.
Once I realized this, I was also faced with the question, "Am I doing this with God?" Am I making him my own "Mr Potato Head" God? Do I want him to have ears to hear my prayers and pleas when I cry out to him? Hands to catch me when I fall and legs to run to me when I need him? I surely don't want him to have a mouth to tell me what I am doing wrong, or eyes to see what I am doing wrong.
Reducing God into a small form that we can be comfortable with is idolatry. We can never truly have a deep meaningful relationship with our Lord, if we don't understand the whole of Him. When we start removing parts to make us more comfortable with Him, we remove his holiness and the very nature of who He is. Ultimately then, He has no effect in our lives. We remove the holy spirits power to move us and transform us.
The next time I feel like I want to "rearrange" some parts on my "Mr Potato Head" relationships, I will remind myself that God is the ultimate creator. He placed all the perfect parts there for a reason. And maybe, just maybe, I can look at all those beautiful parts and exclaim, " Look how cool this is!"