It’s been five months since my last blog…. And as someone said, “What’s taking soooo long?!!! We love to say that in our house. For everything…. It all started the weekend the grandkids stayed with us. We spent the day flitting from play dough to arts and crafts, to cooking rock tea in the play kitchen out back, to playing at the park. When I finally got to dinner, we were all pooped. My grand daughter Violet sat perched in her red high chair while I made the final preparations for dinner. She sat with a fork in one hand and I spoon in the other and pounded on the table letting out an exasperated, “WHAT’S TAKING SOOOOOOOO LONG?!” My immediate reaction was to strangle her, but instead all I could do was laugh. Don’t we all feel like that at times? Don’t we all wish we could be so honest and say it? Since that day the whole house says it in times when we are frustrated and impatient and somehow it feels better to say it out loud. We always end up chuckling.
Since that moment I have had plenty of reminders that things are not happening in the time that I want them. My nature says I want them now, God says wait.
This summer we took a road trip with the grand-kids. They kept asking if we were almost there, how much longer was it going to be, and of course, WHY IS IT TAKING SOOOOO LONG!!! It was a long time for them to sit still in their car seats. It was a lot to ask that they to be good, quiet and patient. It was hard. But when we got to our destination it was amazing. They had so much fun and did so many fun things that it was hard to see it end. It was worth a little bit of waiting for the reward at the end.
Waiting is hard. Waiting in a no passing zone behind a car that is going 15 miles under the speed limit is hard. Waiting in the grocery check out line behind someone who is using 30 coupons and can’t find that last one is hard. Waiting for your birthday to arrive when your 5 is hard. But waiting on God can be one of the most challenging of hard things.
And so it seems with my life lately, there is a lot of waiting. Don’t we all feel that with unanswered prayers or opportunities that seem to be on the brink of not sure yet? I just went through this with my youngest daughter. She was set to ship off to the Navy. We said our goodbyes, dropped her at the hotel and showed up the next morning for her swear in ceremony. When we arrived she informed us that there was a problem with her medical discharge. So we were told to wait. We waited while all the others shipped out and then we were sent home. We were told she would ship on a different date two weeks later. We waited. Then we were told she would ship the next month pending a waiver that was to come in. We waited. It’s the waiting that is so hard. We all were feeling WHY IS THIS TAKING SOOOOO LONG! But at that moment I knew that God was really in control. I knew that more than anything I wanted God’s will over my desires. But my heart wanted my daughter to have this so much. I was in a constant tug of war with my earthly heart and my heavenly soul. To say that I prayed constantly is an understatement. My mind was consumed with petitions to God to close a door if it was not the path he wanted her on. Honestly, also my prayer was, help me to be okay with your will. God closed that door to the Navy for my daughter. Everyone was shocked. And I was left with my greatest fear. Accepting God’s will.
It seems we are always waiting for something. That vacation we planned, or the raise to come in, or even our new shoes to break in. What is it about waiting that is so hard? It is so much easier to be walking than standing still. Just ask a three year old to sit still and wait for a bowl of candy to be passed around until it is her turn. That’s us with life. We want things now, and sometimes, God wants us to wait.
We easily accept and embrace when God builds hedges around our path. We want God’s protection against things that would hurt us, and when he slows our pace we feel uncomfortable but we keep moving. It’s when he brings us to a stop that we cry out, “God, are you there?” What we fail to see is that sometimes when God says “not now” or “not yet” it is for our protection. Or it may be because there is something else he wants us to learn first. Struggling through the waiting lately has taught me one more thing about God, probably the most important thing. Waiting on the Lord of my life requires my complete dependence on God. It also requires a willingness to allow Him to decide the terms and the timing of his plan. It is in this place that I develop a deeper dependence in the character of God. God becomes a living and breathing presence inside of me as I let go of my tightly held desires and expectations and hand them over to him. It is the ultimate gift of trust. And I think…. this is what faith is in action. Perhaps this is why the bible talks so much about waiting.
Time is a precious gift. If you don’t think that’s true ask someone who just buried their child or someone who just got diagnosed with terminal cancer. What they would’t give for just one more day, more time. When we spend our days worried and frustrated with waiting, we are abusing time, and time is a special gift from God.
Seasons of waiting reveal where we put our trust. “God works all things together for his good.” Romans 8:28 If there is one thing I have learned over all the speed bumps of life is that I would much rather have God’s plan for my life than whatever I can muster up. God’s plans include making my life flourish, keeping me safe, and giving me hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.
We will still say in this house, “WHAT’S TAKING SOOOOOO LONG!!!!” Because it’s funny and it makes us laugh. But our heart will feel a deep sense of peace waiting for God to reveal his great plan. “But as for me, I will look to the Lord, I will wait for the God of my salvation, my God will hear me.” Micah 7:7