The other day my five year old grandson Ezra stated boldly to me that he was his little sister Violet’s BIG brother. He went on to say that he has a very important job to look out for her and protect her. A little shocked at the seriousness of his declaration I quickly told him that, “yes, it’s a very important job, and soon you will have a little brother to watch out for too.” There was a quiet pause on his end. Wanting to not loose the moment, I kept the conversation going asking a few questions. “ So, is it hard to be a big brother?” He thought for a moment and instead of answering he asked me a question. “Did my Dad think it was hard?” I wasn’t sure how to answer that. I mean should I tell him that sometimes his dad didn’t want to be the older brother of 4 siblings? That he had a lot of responsibility and grew up with the unspoken understanding that he was the leader and setting the example? Or do I tell him that no it was easy for him so that Ezra doesn’t feel its just too hard of a task? I decided to take the middle road and responded, “ I think it was hard sometimes because he had four younger brothers and sisters, but I also know that God picked him for that position and responsibility because he was the best one for the job.” And then the moment was gone as Violet dragged his attention away to sing a silly song.
I think every parent wants their children to have a close relationship with each other. When they are little it means: wanting to play with each other, being kind to each other and sticking up for them. As they grow into their teen years it means: sharing their troubles and asking advice from them. It means protecting each other, and helping each other. As young adults it means: still wanting to be around them, being close to their spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend. It means being there for them in a crisis and wanting to call them first when you have good news to share. But how does this happen, and how does a parent help foster this?
The best answer I can give is the one that I experienced in raising my kids. I was outnumbered 5 to 1, and it turned out to be a blessing. I did not have enough hands and arms to meet all the needs all at the same time, so I entrusted my children to help each other. There were babies to rock, stories to be read and homework to be helped with and my children grew up knowing that they were needed to make the village run smoothly.. They became my extra set of eyes and ears to praise them on an art drawing or listen to their frustrating day, and this bonded them together. They had invested in their sibling and through the years they cared about their investment and nurtured it. This is not to say that there were not normal sibling disputes, but even those moments bonded them together. It warms my heart that as adults they have game night with each other, play volleyball, and go to each other for help and advice. They are their brothers keeper.
So what does it mean to be “your brothers keeper” ? The text this comes from in the bible refers to Cain and Abel, when Cain asks God if he is his brothers keeper. I feel he picked the word keeper to refer to the nature of Abel’s work. He was a shepherd who “kept flocks”. Keeping the flocks entailed protecting and defending them from predators just as David did. It’s interesting to see that God put Adam and Eve in the garden to cultivate it and “Keep” it. The Hebrew word shamar means, “to keep guard, keep watch and ward, protect, save life. That sounds an awful lot like Jesus. He is our good shepherd who laid his life down for his sheep. For all intensive purposes, Jesus is our brothers keeper.
It’s great that Ezra wants to be his sister’s keeper, and that he takes the job seriously. It’s great that my kids look out for each other and are each others keeper. Those are things that we try to teach and model at home, but it shouldn’t end there. I think God meant for us to expand that. In Luke 10:27 it says, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself. The term brothers keeper does not just mean being responsible for the welfare of a a biological brother or sister, it’s scope is extended to all the other human beings, no matter their race or ethnicity.
We are our brothers keeper when we share practical help to those in need, speak the truth in love, and share the gospel with others. As I told my grandson Ezra, at times it can be hard. At times we don’t want to be a leader of others. And as my daughter would say, “Mom, I DON’T want to be the bigger person!” But we were hand picked by God for this purpose. He called us for this position and responsibility because he knew we are the best one for the job.